ABCD: American Born Confused Desi

 While I was reading The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui, the events her family went through felt surreal, yet at its core, I realized many of the dynamics within my own family parallel it in two main ways: cultural assimilation and Thi’s cultural confusion with my own.

My family may not have had as dramatic a journey as Thi’s to America, but once they got here they had to fit into a completely new world just like Thi’s parents. Rather than sailing the sea to get to America, my parents took my older brother and flew from India for my dad’s new job, starting fresh and leaving everything behind. They had to learn to adapt to American life while still holding onto their Indian roots.

Today, my family has built their own life in America, reaching their “American Dream,” building not only wealth but an Indian community that has made America feel like home.

Unlike my brother, I was born here in America, so my life has always been a confusing mix of Indian and American culture. For most children of Asian immigrants, there has always been the dilemma of whether they are American enough or Indian enough. Many people fear becoming “white washed” and disconnected from their culture. However, like Thi Bui, I’ve learned that culture does not need to be the same between my parents and me. I was once almost ashamed of my culture for being different than everyone else, but over time I learnt being born here and merging both cultures is who I am. Identity isn’t genetic. It is built over your life. Being around people with similar backgrounds to me helped me find that and be proud of it.





Comments

  1. Sanskriti MathurDecember 7, 2025 at 11:48 AM

    I really connected with your comments of being ashamed of our culture for being different, and I think that's an important topic that many children of immigrants face. I like how your blog post and the title has a sense of humor throughout it, while also talking about an important and insightful topic.

    ReplyDelete
  2. JustinDecember 8, 2025 at 5:24 AM

    I really loved your personal anecdote that you added to the details of the book. It adds depth, especially the part about being ashamed for your culture being different. Love this!

    ReplyDelete

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